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Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

Life is tough, it's tougher if you're stupid.  John Wayne

90% of being smart is knowing what you are dumb at.

Disorganization on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part.

Life is like a dog sled, unless you are the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

The first step to better times is to imagine them. (Chinese fortune cookie)

Happy are those who choose their own path.  (Seneca, Roman philosopher) 



 

Things to think about:

I heard this joke on TV.  The wife was out shopping for a new car.  She came home and told her husband that she wanted "something that goes from 0 to 150 in 10 seconds."  He went out and bought her a bathroom scale.

At the gas pump the other day, I read the little sticker on the pump.  It stated, "in case of fire, do not remove the nozzle.  Notify the attendant."   Really!  I'm sure that will be the first thing on my mind should the gas pump catch fire.

I was just reading the direction to installing the new chain on my chain saw.   It makes one stop to wonder about people when one reads things like, "turn off the chain saw to sharpen the chain."  However, it doesn't say to turn off the chain saw to install the new chain.  Is there hope for humanity?

Have you ever wondered why they sell knives and guns in the store w/o packaging but insist on putting such items as thermometers and computer memory disks in impenetrable plastic packages that take an extremely sharp pair of scissors and extreme muscle power to open?

Don't forget, the electric blow dryer states, "don't use this product while in the shower."

I never will forget when I signed the papers to purchase my house.  They made me sign a paper stating that I wouldn't eat the paint.  No kidding.

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